Remember yesterday when I said setbacks are often followed by comebacks? Our Maddy boy made his comeback today. He got his oxygen mask off mid-day and did great with all his feedings. It seems like he was maintaining his temperature as well but they are going to monitor it overnight and hopefully tomorrow we will walk in and the top will be off the isolette.

Adam and I got some much needed sunshine today while we ate lunch back at the Ronald McDonald house. We actually made it through a whole meal together without crying. It’s not that we cry out of sadness necessarily – it’s all different kinds of emotion-filled cries. Sometimes it’s because we can’t believe the miracle of Maddox in our lives, sometimes it’s because we’re overwhelmed with the peace that has been covering us from our savior, sometimes it’s because we are angry Maddox has a condition he didn’t ask for, sometimes it’s simply because we’re exhausted. But today, we just sat there and smiled and joked like our “normal” selves. It felt good to feel normal.

I also wanted to take a moment and express our gratitude for everyone reading this blog. We have been overwhelmed with the amount of people that have been visiting this page and reaching out with support. It has been such a great way to share updates in one central place as well as document this journey, but it has also been therapeutic for Adam and I. So thank you for allowing us the space to be vulnerable and open, but mostly thank you for caring – caring about us and our Maddy. Each and every one of you is connected to us somehow and whether you know it (or like it) you’re part of our village. We have gained every ounce of our strength throughout this from God and all of you wonderful people. We love you.

Tonight we are leaving the hospital for the first time before 11pm. Leaving him in that room continues to be the most difficult part of our day. Although he’s under the care of amazing nurses, he’s not under our care and it will never feel right until he’s home with us. But, we need rest, and as hard as it is we need to surrender and trust he will be well taken care of. If you’ve read my earlier posts, you know this is what I struggle with the most. Rest is necessary and it’s what we need to give Maddox our best selves come tomorrow.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30