It’s difficult when you’re in a stormy part of your life to take a step back and reflect on all of the blessings that got you here or even all the blessings still surrounding you that are getting buried by the trials. For those of you that don’t know, I have a gynecological disease that posed a chance of me not being able to get pregnant at all. For years I feared I wouldn’t be able to conceive. Isn’t it interesting how once God answered that prayer with a miracle baby, I was already on to my next plead – praying for this baby’s health, praying for a safe delivery. It seems like we hardly give ourselves time to just bask in our blessings. Today was a day to bask in blessings. 

Maddox did great overnight with steady temperatures, great feeding, and no breathing spells. We spent today smiling at his smile, feeding him, cuddling him, doing his treatments, and playing him relaxing music. We basked in the blessing of his precious life. We basked in the blessing of the amazing medical team we have taking care of him. We basked in the blessing of the incredible support system we have – the food, the heartfelt messages, the gifts, and the overall love that has been overflowing from all of you to us.

We decided to go home for the night tonight. It’s been 10 nights since we’ve been home. We wanted to be with the dogs, prepare some things for Maddox, and maybe try to get some sleep. This wasn’t an easy decision by any means and it was not at all how I pictured returning home. Driving further and further away from Maine Medical Center shattered my soul to pieces. Just like the night he was born and I had to be a floor away, it felt like I was leaving my whole heart behind. 

So tonight I’m writing this post from my couch at home instead of in Maddox’s NICU room. Tonight I’m surrounded by gifts so many sweet people have sent, in a house that my parents so graciously came and cleaned and tidied, and snuggled in with my dogs that have been so selflessly taken care of by Adam’s family. It feels both natural and foreign to be home – we feel like we’ve been living two different lives and all we want is our sweet boy at home with us. His nursery, bassinet, bottles, and premie diapers and clothing are all patiently awaiting his homecoming.

As I mentioned, it was a hard decision to come home. We prayed about it and God answered. Maddox had the best nurse he’s ever had today and she told us she’d be with him for the next three days. This never happens. There’s a new nurse almost every day. They’re all amazing. But for us, it’s different because we usually need to explain his treatments and his unique needs. This makes it even harder for us to leave. But this nurse made it so easy. She was even hugging and comforting us when we left today. Then, just an hour ago, the night nurse called and reassured us that Maddox was doing great and that we should get some sleep. God answers prayers and all we have to do is bask in our blessings.

“I sought the Lord and He heard and He answered. That’s why I trust him.” 
– Elevation Worship